I have had severe depression since I was about 10 years old. Since then it has been like a roller coaster ride. It's just up and down, twisting and turning, making me feel like I might fly over the railings. It is truly scary. I have moments where I'm 100% and I'm super happy and calm, but then, for whatever reason, I just click off like a light. All I want to do is be left alone. I don't want anyone around, I have this constant anxiety that sits in my chest, and I'm constantly on the verge of crying. Sometimes I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind and that terrifies me. I don't want to lose my ability to write or recall songs that were made 40 years before I was even born. I don't want to lose my family or friends, and I definitely don't want to break the promises I have made to myself.
One of those promises was to never ever give up. I don't know what everyone does and does not believe in. I believe, however, that negativity just sits and waits for you to feel just a little bit sad. That's when it strikes. Negativity feeds off of you like a leach. It forces you to stay sad and angry. It forces you to avoid other people, things you used to love doing, and happiness. I hate negativity, especially when it hooks its claws into your depression and anxiety. I'm no expert, not by any means. However, I have learned during my 30 years of life that letting go and saying, "FUCK YOU!!!!," to everything and everyone who has hurt you, is the best way to kill negativity. I get that some things are hard to get over. There are horrible, nightmare inducing things in my life that I've never even told anyone about and I'll probably never get over those things. However, I'm not willing to let that shit ruin the things I love. I love music, writing, being outdoors, meeting new interesting people, my faith in GOD, my family, and friends. So, if I can offer any advice to whoever reads this and is suffering from depression and/or anxiety, it is to LET GO of the negativity. Just let go of everything that bothers you or keeps you up at night. It's not worth it! Our happiness is what matters most. Focus on what you love, what's beautiful to you, and remember; Life is IMPORTANT. It may not seem like it right now, but I promise one day it will. I'm still trying, so I hope you can too. If I can keep fighting as screwed up as I am, then so can you! 😆
Peace.
One of those promises was to never ever give up. I don't know what everyone does and does not believe in. I believe, however, that negativity just sits and waits for you to feel just a little bit sad. That's when it strikes. Negativity feeds off of you like a leach. It forces you to stay sad and angry. It forces you to avoid other people, things you used to love doing, and happiness. I hate negativity, especially when it hooks its claws into your depression and anxiety. I'm no expert, not by any means. However, I have learned during my 30 years of life that letting go and saying, "FUCK YOU!!!!," to everything and everyone who has hurt you, is the best way to kill negativity. I get that some things are hard to get over. There are horrible, nightmare inducing things in my life that I've never even told anyone about and I'll probably never get over those things. However, I'm not willing to let that shit ruin the things I love. I love music, writing, being outdoors, meeting new interesting people, my faith in GOD, my family, and friends. So, if I can offer any advice to whoever reads this and is suffering from depression and/or anxiety, it is to LET GO of the negativity. Just let go of everything that bothers you or keeps you up at night. It's not worth it! Our happiness is what matters most. Focus on what you love, what's beautiful to you, and remember; Life is IMPORTANT. It may not seem like it right now, but I promise one day it will. I'm still trying, so I hope you can too. If I can keep fighting as screwed up as I am, then so can you! 😆
Peace.
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